Break-up

You have been great, I said.

I meant it, it’s true.

But a girl has to do what a girl has to do.

We’ve been together awhile

and I was a little bit sad,

especially because there wasn’t anything bad.

But it’s a dog-eat-dog world,

a corporate zoo,

and my provider lost out to the hullabaloo.

Dear internet folks,

I wish I could say,

Your bill wasn’t three times the amount I’ll now pay.

Thanks for the deal

you tried next to offer,

but for the past years I’ve been emptying my coffer.

If things don’t work out

with my new web-access guy,

I’ll call back to see if we can give a new deal a try.

A Brilliant Idea

Please read the original post if it doesn’t show up in the reader. Thank you!

Feeling a little bit down and out, I had a stroke of genius. I pulled up an online dating site that shows profiles without having to create your own… 

just to see who’s out there!

If you write “I’m real and I don’t do drama” in your first two sentences… I’m guessing you’re higher maintenance than you think.

If you write something similar to “is there anyone good left out there?!?!?!” I can tell you’ve already given up, and you expect instant gratification.

If you write “I’m not that good looking…” I don’t have enough patience for your self-confidence issues. I have enough of my own! You posted a picture… let someone else be the judge of your looks. And I’m guessing that looks are probably what you are most worried about.

“I know how to treat a lady.”

Red. Flag.

If you know how to treat a lady, you know it’s a ‘show, don’t tell’ kind of thing.

If you tell me about your kids, I honestly respect that. But I might be too shallow to pick you first.

I also have a lot of opinions, based on your picture. Why are your sunglasses on in every single photo? Why is the only photo you have filled with two or more people that may or may not be you? If I can see up your nostrils, you might want to take a YouTube selfie course. And, ummm…. what are you wearing?!

.

Let’s face it.

This brilliant idea wasn’t so brilliant after all.

If you are judgmental like me… you might not be ready to meet dates online.

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